Looking Back

It’s been almost 9 months since we left Newport Oregon and a lot of water has passed under our keel since then, 3,168 miles worth to be precise.  We’ve visited many wonderful spots and had lots of amazing experiences, traveling well over three thousand miles in the process.  We are also quite crispy at this point.  We were tested by the sea and the weather all along the way.  As amazing as it has been at times, living on a boat, for an extended period of time isn’t easy, in fact it can be pretty darn hard at times.  A boat is a lot like a pressure cooker for the cruising couple; take two people, throw them in a boat, add salt water and turn up the heat and you got a guaranteed recipe for stress with a capital S.  I think that space, both physical and mental, is a good lubricant for any relationship and space is something, like fresh water, that is in very limited commodity on a sailboat.  When the pressure builds, the crew either learns how to cope, or they blow up which is not a good thing given the forced interdependence we need in order to survive.  We’ve got to be able to rely on one another, care for one another and trust one another with our very lives.  

I know that I can be a demanding skipper.  That’s the way I was raised on the water, by demanding skippers, men who weren’t satisfied with “good enough”, men who demanded excellence in seamanship as well as tight team work.  They were hard men who taught me how to sail hard and above all, safely.  Just not always easily.  I also know that hasn’t always been the easiest approach for Bev.  I suspect that she appreciates the safety aspect in spite of it not always being easy.

Working together, playing together and sometimes even suffering together, 24/7 has  challenged us like no other experience that we’ve ever had and I think we are the better for it.  We have survived by practicing the age-old adage that sailors of yesteryear use to have tattooed upon their hands; HOLD FAST.  We have held fast in storms of wind, water and emotions.  We have held fast, we haven’t let go and we have prevailed.  We are both battling time and it’s effect upon our bodies.  Both Bev’s shoulders and my knees have seen better days.  We have both been coping and holding fast and supporting one another as best we can with the health issues too.

We’ve learned to not only reconcile our differences but to celebrate and even leverage them to our advantage, both the physical as well as psychological ones.  We’re learning to address our problematic issues earlier and in a calmer less judgmental way and to be more willing and capable of making allowances for the other and ultimately that there is truly no “other” in a sailing crew.  We are both truly in the same boat when we are sailing and this might be the most valuable part of the trip that we end up with in addition to the pretty photos and good memories.  

In addition to battling wind, waves, exhaustion and physical challenges together, we’ve also celebrated countless sunrises, sunsets, star-filled and moon-lit nights, dolphins on our bow wave, whales close on our beam, walks on pristine beaches that are miles long with no one else in sight.  All this has enriched us as individuals and as a couple.  We could have much more easily flown or driven down to Mexico but we didn’t, we sailed and that has made all the difference.  

I have also had the pleasure of seeing Beverly grow as a sailor and as a person too.  She has become stronger, more self-confident and capable as we’ve gone along.  She’s much more willing to tackle intimidating situations and more than that, she complains less and takes action sooner.  She’s well on her way to becoming a captain in her own right.  I can give her no higher praise.

I am sure that all too soon this whole floaty odyssey that we’ve been on will become nothing more that a dream within a dream, most of the specifics will be forgotten and the overall impression remaining will be that we sailed well together through many extraordinarily beautiful places and we held fast.